How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
My cock was attacked by outdoor plants
Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
I swear to god if I have to repeat this to you one more mother fucking time I will flip fucking shit and acidic rain will pour down upon your mother fucking soul
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
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