If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
You need to go! It’s a midwestern wedding - the single girls out there think life ends at 25 if they don’t have a picket fence and family. That’s when your penis introduces himself
2020 sucks, I want a refund
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