Her vagina should come with caution tape.
Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
He kept saying the best defense against a lion is to punch it in the throat.
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
I just sent an "I'm sorry I forged a prescription in your name" email. It was one of the more awkward things I've done this week.
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
Randomize