Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.
I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
