You're my little dorito
I microwaved pizza rolls, a hot dog, and bacon in the same plate with no paper towels. I drank the grease at the end. I'm going to vomit everywhere.
Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
The best part of tonight is drunk commenting on my moms pic about how birds just want to give you diseases and pluck out your eyes
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
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