No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
May the power of my ass compel you!!
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
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