She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
Writing a love song to planned parenthood. what rhymes with "don't have AIDS"
Hippo gnu deer
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
these are times I'm glad I'm Jewish because the Torah is just like "drink, eat, and fuck"
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
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