And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
You went through my pantry and left one of everything in the box. One cracker. One cheesit. One piece of cereal. I really fucking hate you.
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
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