Why is it that every time I type the word "give" my phone spells out HIV?! You know how many people i've told I want to HIV them something!
She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
I don't need this shit right now. I just woke up covered in pistachios
I’ll call you later. There’s a jilted trophy wife looking for a revenge fuck at my door
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