im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
My dog ate my bag of weed. Thats not the easiest call to the vet to make.
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
Eating Doritos is not nearly as enjoyable when I'm not drunkenly feeding them to peacocks.
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
Randomize
