I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
he texted me at 1 in the morning to ask if i wanted to come over and play in the snow with him
at least he gets points for a creative booty call
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
Use "feeling words"
Yay
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
Randomize
