dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
she demanded that I make her breakfast too so im in the bathroom cooking bacon with her straightener
Just walked out of 7 11 still in uniform when 4 girls in bikinis in a convertable screamed "we fuck firefighters!"
Career choice validated
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
Randomize
