dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
Turns out I'm like the Wayne Gretzky of hiding cum. Who knew?
My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
They don't have a Valentines Day card for the married guy I'm sleeping with. It can't use the words, love, soulmate, you're the only one for me...and obviously it can't be anything related to spending the day together because that's not happening.
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
Randomize
