I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
Im just a social blackout drinker.
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
I am on my usual post-jerkoff high of eternal happiness. Like I could punch a fucking tiger.
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
When we left, you were on your third beer. When we came back to grab you, you had a pint glass half full of whiskey and had convinced the band to give you a microphone.
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
Randomize
