You made me cry and you don't even care
why are there goldfish crackers all over my bed?
you decided you wanted to name them & keep them as pets.
when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
Randomize
