I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
Apparently I used ziplock bags to smuggle my drink out with. By pouring it in one, then cut the corner like it was an icing bag later that night. What is wrong with me?
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
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