When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.
Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
Randomize
