I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
She said "You blew my mind last night." and I said "nah, I just blew my load." and her mom heard.
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
She woke up laying on my kitchen floor, ketchup bottle as her pillow, in front of my fridge.
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
Randomize