if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
I made it to work. Still drunk. Definitely pregnant.
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
What part of “the stripper has a gun, we need to leave” is confusing you? She’s drunk, she’s fucking crazy and NOW SHE’S PACKING HEAT!
Randomize
