wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
I woke up naked this morning and I found out that I thought I was Adam last night and Eve was my wife so I ran naked saying I was in the Garden of Eden and I could shit wherever I wanted.....too bad the garden was in my friends apt.......I spent the morning cleaning and have reached a new low
i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
we went to go have morning sex and I said “I was gonna put my mouth on it but you need to shower”#ruinedthemoment
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
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