i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
i really wish my pants would only unzip when im sober
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
I made friends with the delivery guy because he had beautiful dread locks and was a Zelda fan. He texted me after he left saying he wasn't trying to be creepy but we should be friends. We're hanging out tomorrow.
How does this kind of shit happen to you?!
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
Over Bumbled last night. I think I set my dog up on a date Sunday afternoon. I have to drive him, meet the other dog’s dad and secretly drink a bottle of champagne from a “water bottle”. This is not what I expected 30 to be like.
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
Randomize
