she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
dude, mark had the least successful cab ride in history last night. took a cab to the bars, stopped at every atm in the city, none worked, then had to come back to the party to beg for 20 to pay the taxi that officially took him nowhere.
So stoned I forgot I was masturbating and went to go get a cookie.
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
Whoever put the tambourine in the dryer is a douche. Worst hangover wakeup ever
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
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