Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
She got mad when I told her I'd bone her mom. She got MORE mad when her mom heard, and was flattered by it. Proud to say I attract MILFS.
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
Your mother may get texts again about women putting dog food up their vaginas and asking for it to be licked.
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
The dominoes guy came back thirty mins later to ask me out. I guess he figures if I'm eating pizza alone I must have gotten dumped
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
Randomize
