Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
today i did the best job ever shaving. like my vagina is PERFECT. plus i straightened my hair for a good hour. if i don't get ass tonight, i'm killing a baby.
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
I have one of those hangovers where you visualize how awesome it would be to climb in your fridge and drink glacier water
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
Randomize
