whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
Somehow ended up at a stranger's bridal shower. Everyone else is already drunk.
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
Randomize
