im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
Someone shattered a urinal.
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
Don't make this awkward for me. Don't let your mom come near the bathroom. I can't meet your mom for the first time while I'm shitting. Dont make this awkward.
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
Can I come take down that wallpaper yet? I stopped seeing that dude and I need to occupy my time with something besides getting drunk at bingo night and cussing out old people. Also, i'm not sure on the legal stipulations but I might have, unintentionally, committed grand theft auto at some point.
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
Randomize
