Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
I woke up fully clothed on top of my sheets and i didnt even pee myself..so proud.
she just uttered the sweetest sentence in the english language...my stripper friends are coming over
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
In my defense, last night's hookup turned out to be my actual girlfriend. That's gotta count for something, right?
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
Randomize
