but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
you told grandpa to call you daddy
I love you and want you to know that you're the best friend ever and me lassoing you with a seatbelt was out of sheer affection.
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
Considering the fact that you wouldn't give me my cat last night because he was "destined for broadway", yeah, I'm accusing you of stealing him
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
Randomize
