Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
Nothing says "welcome to Denver" like a hot 18 year old giving you directions to the dispensary and ending up blowing you in the backseat
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
Some crack addled fool from the sketch ass motel behind the restaurant just gave me a flyer for an AA group when I was on my smoke break. I don't do mornings
Today's psa: there are certain parts of your body you shouldn't scratch while wearing fake nails.
you just tore your cootch a new one, didn't you?
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
Randomize
