hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
I've literally NEVER been on a date or gotten through one episode of netflix without having sex like I JUST WANT TO WATCH TRUE DETECTIVE
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
Randomize
