Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
I have to start avoiding pregnant women. This is getting out of hand.
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
This is a test of Andrews drunk texting, had this been an actual drunk text, all the words would be spelled incorrectly and would be missing key verbs and nouns, followed by a request to not get fired.
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
Looking back at our past texts, the minute it turned 2020 you were cleaning your house and I was dying of the cold. We were prophesying the Rona.
Turns out naked yoga wasn't a pickup line. I feel betrayed.
Randomize
