apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
Condom broke. Took her to CVS for plan B and parked in expectant mothers spot. I laughed.. she cried
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
Had to sacrifice my vibrator batteries to the thermostat gods. I had a dirty dream and also almost a heat stroke.
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
I woke up upside down with my head in your ottoman and like a foot of space between the ottoman and chair.. My legs were straight up in the air... Yes. Your mother found me.
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
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