Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
I just found out that there's a bar that has happy hour at 12 pm. It's like the universe doesn't want me to be sober
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
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