There were 3 chicks in my bed I didn't know when I got home. Now I know all of them. Biblically.
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
Random memory from the wedding, the bartender showed us how to open the windows and piss out of them.
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
No longer is one of my lifelong dreams to ride in a kangaroo pouch. You have eternally ruined that for me. Thank you.
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
Randomize
