i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
Ps this homeless dude just came in hotel bar w a sword sticking out his jumpsuit trying to buy a drink w a 3rd party check
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
Now: to brush my teeth, put on my grandma slippers and earplugs, masturbate to 50 Shades and then PTFO
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
You leaned over to me in the elevator and whispered "how long do I have to pretend to be sober?"
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
Randomize