DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
Two months ago an unknown man was in my bed and now he is my boyfriend and he has 1.6 million in the bank and he buys me things because I only have $4.35 in my bank account
It could happen to you too!
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
I can control the tv with my phone while pooping on the second floor. I thought you should know for future reference
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
Randomize
