Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
u think ur still drunk from last night? i just put the eggs in the freezer and the remote in the sink. I don't wanna fucking hear it.
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
I woke up with someone else's vomit on my ass. That's how I'm doing today.
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
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