I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
The waiter to-go cupped my bloody mary without me even asking. THAT hungover.
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
He can only pee with the faucet running. It's like I'm dating a fucking toddler.
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
So much Jack, so little girl.
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
what the fuck happened to the tacos
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
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