she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
Guess who won a bet and gets to name it Optimus prime if it's a boy
Nevermind. Totally worth it.
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
How did you tell her we met?
I told her that we met at the sex shop down the street, I thought it would be the most reasonable explanation.
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
why is half of my head shaved?
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
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