So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
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