I just walked into the kitchen and my dad was having this uber serious convo
With himself
You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
Was having relations of the behind variety with my girlfriend. Based on where we were at I could see myself in the bathroom mirror. You know I did the Patrick Bateman point and wink at the mirror and turned on sissudio by Phil Collins.
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
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