YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
Found someone cuddling with my Uggs this morning. Guess the hundred pillows laying next to him weren't good enough.
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