id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
Could a canary swim?
Last time I ever let you pet sit.
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
Randomize