I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
As we were walking to her place she stole a pizza from the delivery guy's car and when we got home she grabbed a slice, two beers, removed her pants, and said "call of duty?" im going to marry her
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
I’ll call you in a minute. Trying to book an AirBnB so I can finally bang the yummy guy from yoga
Your downward dog is going to rock his cock. I’m jealous
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