Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
Hey. Hey you. Just wanted to let you know that I'm adorable. FUCKING ADORABLE. That is all. This update brought to you by our proud sponsor bud light.
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
my nose is crying tears of wow.
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
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