Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
I just got this text "hi this is Julie, I met you last night in the bathroom. You asked me to text you and remind you that you ate an entire lime, because you figured your sober self in the morning would be confused."
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
Ten minute nap on a staircase honey badger don't care
I love you. Mom got to wasted at the wedding that she threw up on my shirt.
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
He dared you to draw a map of the USA on your wall in mustard. You drew something that vaguely resembled a velociraptor eating Oklahoma, got embarrassed because you forgot how to spell America, then hid out in the coat closet until everybody left.
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
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