But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
Randomize
