he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking.
I miss vodka workout Fridays
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
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