there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
my car smells like vomit and bananas. this can't really be my life.
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
I baptized my dog in my pool last night because he snapped at my party guests, how was your night?
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
Why the fuck am I at this dorm meeting? I don't pay $50,000 a year to stay sober.
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
Randomize