i passed out on the floor in my hallway and woke up with my dog licking himself 2 inches from my face. my first reaction? envy
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
Randomize
