we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
You should've come out last night, I need someone to explain why the bartender tried to strangle me...
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
Just had to read the instructions to my microwave. How am I so high?
Randomize
