I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
She is a social worker. An actual good person trying to save the world. I feel like every time I give her an orgasm God wipes a little smudge off of my shit list.
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
Randomize
