what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
he is so obsessed with the fact that he works at Apple
i know, its like he jerks off to steve jobs
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
I just saw a man vacuming his front lawn. What is this world coming to?
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
Why is your name written on my hand surrounded by hearts and a bartenders phone number?
I made him say "i realize i'm cheating on my girlfriend" five times aloud before i would hook up with him. Somehow that has to lessen my bad karma
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
let’s face it, me joining a co-ed soccer league is like, 33% motivated by my crotch seeking a healthy outlet
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
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