The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
Heeyy... sorry I got so drunk. You probably don't ever want to see me again. Thank you for dealing with me when I tried to jump over the deli counter for some mayonnaise.
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
Last night I tried to apply for a job at ihop. That drunk.
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
Randomize
