All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
Microwaved placenta is very unpleasant.
I smelled like jager and penis. The only cure was a pack of camels and plan b.
I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
I was high enough to think chocolate sauce on bagel bites was a good idea
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
I just gave her a sobriety test in the middle of the baking aisle.
And the results, officer?
She's fucked.
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
Randomize
