My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
Randomize
