some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
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