even in the morning, she still thinks my british accent is real.
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
Today needs to die. The mail delivery guy watched me throw up in my yard while taking my chihuahua out in Christmas pajamas at noon. Low point in my life.
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
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