he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
You're going to find someone that you love very much and that loves you, and then you're gonna find an additional person that you literally can't stop staring at from across the room. I feel very confidently about that
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
Randomize
