I don't usually arrange sex via text message
pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
Friends don't let friends talk to people who live in Orlando. Sorry I've failed you.
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
I drunken agreed to go wedding dress shopping with a stranger at the bar yesterday. She sent me an email asking what days I am free.
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
She was a cheerleader in college and President of her sorority and now she’s a sales rep for a pharmaceutical corporation. “High maintenance hot” doesn’t even begin to explain it
But dear lord is it worth it
Randomize
