I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
I'm driving to work with an ice pack on my vagina. how was your weekend?
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
You know it's time to do the dishes when you take shots of water out of a sake glass...
And you wonder why you're always one of the guys?
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
Randomize
