trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
So, remember how that one doctor said it was 1 in a million that I'd get pregnant...
Yeeah thank god
Well..welcome to parenting Mr. one in a million.
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
I IMAGINED YOU YELLING SURPRISE WITH JAZZ HANDS. AND I LOVE YOU FOREVER
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
Randomize
