It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
Reason #82 that I need to get laid: my pubes are getting split ends.
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
My mascara kind of smells like tequila to me...Is this my body crying for help or asking for a shot?
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
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