we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
Just got an Edible Arrangement my parents sent me for my birthday. Time to marinate some fruit in vodka.
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
Houston, we have a squirter
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
Randomize
