i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
People with herpes should wear stickers.
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
If I wake up with an unknown penis in me one more time I am literally going to press charges to the makers of tequila.
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
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