Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
Just asked my dog if he was proud of me for making it home. That drunk.
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
It's great when the cashier at the liquor store asks "weren't you wearing those clothes yesterday"
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
Is it bad that when someone says the phrase "helicopter dick" I immediately think of you?
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
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