yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
Randomize
