I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
You've slept with someone mentioned in the NY Times, that officially makes you the most famous person I know.
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
Last night I had a dream that I changed my last name to Vodka. what does that say about my life?
Randomize
