that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
i wasn't about to bring her gummy handcuffs to her father's funeral
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
Let me be the 15% helpful, 85% useless as shit angel on your shoulder.
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
Randomize
