try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
you called to congratulate me on being the reason you lost never have i ever
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
woke up with a used condom shoved in my ear. i officially hate alcohol.
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
Did I fall on/off the boat yesterday? Cuz my right leg looks and feels like if it got hit by shrapnel.
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
Randomize
